Come see the Comedy Cabaret on July 28th! It’s going to be one hot show!
We wanted this month’s comedians to give us a definition of a kangaroo. Here is the jumping hilarity that they came up with:
“An annoying pest that the government tries to get you to kill”
“A majestic Aussie animal which carries top secret messages for the CIA via babies and drool.”
“An Australian marsupial”
Luke Gordon Field
“A kangaroo is a mythical creature from the made up land of Australia, popularized by a number of fictional novels and films. Like the centaur or unicorn, the animal does not actually exist, but is an example of the wonders of the human imagination.”
“A T-Rex that fucked a rabbit.”
“A big stupid idiot with a pouch”
“Everyone agrees that I’m a little crazy in the head. I have a really unique way of seeing things, which is one of my strengths as a comic. So this is probably just me but when I think of a kangaroo, I think of any herbivorous marsupial of the family Macropodidae, of Australia and adjacent islands, having a small head, short forelimbs, powerful hind legs used for leaping, and a long, thick tail.”
“Kangaroo is Hannah. Hannah is Kanagroo. We are all one.”
Come see the June show. We have an excellent lineup that will leaving you howling for more!
Are comedians are so good this month that we tried to throw them a curveball. Not only did they make contact they smashed it outta of the park! Here are their answers to the question: If you were personified as a cartoon animal, what animal would you be?
“Winnie the Pooh”
“Winnie The Pooh. Because my friends are nice…..I’d get access to quality honey….AND I’D BE RICCCCHHHHHHHHHHH”
“An unsymmetrical butterfly”
“A cartoon fangtooth fish, the deepest living fish, luring unsuspecting creatures in with my pulsing bioluminescent light before tearing them to lifeless flesh chunks with my enormous, jagged jaw. Or a puppy.”
“I’d be a hippopotamus wearing a variety of interesting hats”
Our next show is May 26th. After a successful one year anniversary will we have recovered from our hangovers by the 26th of May to put on another fantastic show? Of course… though may be still slightly hung over… so we apologize in advance.
Our comedians for the month of April were asked a few questions so that we could better understand Who they are, What they’re doing with their lives, How their accomplishing that, Etc. Etc. Etc. Here are the answers to one of those questions:
“The guy who pulls out the arrows at the archery range.“
“Travel writer “
“I am also a painter and would love to paint all day. OR be the test body for a massage school and be massaged all day.”
Rene Armando Payes
“Dream job-heckler, because, fuck comedians. :)“
“International jewel thief“
“Something with a lot of power, like a dictator or principal of a high school. I love power.”
“Product Tester for a company that produces high end pot & poutine for consumption by actors who are working on low end porno shoots.”
“If I couldn’t be a comedian my dream job would be being King Kong“
This is the one year of The Comedy Cabaret under producers Matthew Sarookanian and Dave Code. Come out and celebrate this momentous occasion with us on April 28th at 8pm!
Our comedians for the month of March were asked a few questions so that we could better understand Who they are? What they’re doing with their lives? How their accomplishing that? Etc. Etc. Etc. Here are the answers to one of those questions:
“I’d have to be a shark or I’d be too scared of being eaten by one“
“None of them! I like swimming and all, but 100% of the time? No way! I guess maybe otters swim around some of the time, and then hang out on land for a bit, but I think they also get hunted for their fur. Alligators also are water part-timers, but even they get hunted for their skin. If I had to pick one, I’d say an alligator with bad skin. Like a real acne problem so that no one would want me to be their shoes. Plus, if anyone still wanted to hunt me, I’d have a good shot of winning.“
“Michael Phelps. I could still pass for human, breathe underwater, and talk to merfolk.”
“I’d be a shrimp, so people would think I’m cute or a lobster so people would put butter on me and lick.”
“Seahorse (Their dudes seem legit)”